I’m professionally retracting my statement to my life’s writers. I think they are waiting to write her into the right spot.
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I need to contact the writers who are scripting the screen play of my life. They always use this same plot hook of boy meets girl and then girl drops off the face of the earth. It’s not creative and it sucks. I mean, now I just go “Oh look, this again. Oh well.” But I should be kept interested. Try this. Next time you want to end a relationship, end it off spectacularly with fires, explosions, and preferably something that doesn’t make me die, inside or for realsies.
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Don’t you love it when you have no idea what’s going on? Me neither! I just started talking to this girl at work and everybody decided “HOLY FUCK AUSTIN LIKES WOMEN? LET’S ASK HIM NUMEROUS QUESTIONS ABOUT IT THAT HE PROBABLY CAN’T ANSWER!” It’s hard to get a grasp on what’s going on. Especially when I got her number yesterday and people were asking if we had been out two days ago. :|
Seriously, guys, the one time I try to take it slow it explodes. Now I find myself pressured to do things I normally wouldn’t and I’m slightly worried that I fucked it up already. Shit.
It feels like high school.
EVERYONE WATCH THIS VIDEO!!!!!
Sorry Jelli, for this is the third time we shot this and i started forgetting shoutouts!
Yeah. You did.
You remembered my sister though which you both have yet to meet. If only Audrey knew what was happening.
Here’s something came up with today. I thought it sounded cool.
“Don’t let yourself ache and pain from the unknown, instead relish and love the known.”
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Short little stories of mine.
I was listening to the radio and it started to tell me that I should donate my car to blind people. So obviously I started to listen. There’s a charity asking me to donate my car to someone who is blind. What is he going to do?
Stare at it? Touch it? I hope he or she is not going to drive said vehicle. It would be complete carnage. Charities want so much out of us these days. It used to be just “give us some money so that we can give it to someone else who needs it more.” Now I’m being asked to give up my car, my home, and my wife girlfriend lover income? Ridiculous.
So how did Li’l John ever make an album? I’m pretty sure you can only mix “YEAH”, “OKAAAY”, and “WAT” in so many ways. I’m pretty sure all of his fame comes from getting on other people’s songs. Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Now imagine him in other genres like country. “My wife left me this morning, YEAH. And my dog died to, OKAAAY”. Or metal, “Release the kraken from the briny depths, OKAAAY. His power is greater than any other, YEAH.” I bet even emos kids would get a kick out of Li’l John, “I cut myself at night, OKAAAY. And I dream about dudes peeing, WAT.”
Ever been sleeping, wake up in the middle of the night, and get really mad a yourself for waking up? Just me? Well anyway, one night I was asleep. All the sudden I woke up to me counting down from 10 in my head. I started get very angry at myself and started yelling at me mentally. This occurred at least two more times that, each progressively worse. I woke up the next day, vaguely recalling all this and going “What the fuck happened last night?”
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Well shit, let’s chalk another failure under romantic excursions. While we’re here, we might as well add to times I felt bad, girls who suddenly stopped talking to me, and add, once again, to the list of things I would like to stop happening to me.
Maybe I should stop getting excited, because whenever I do shit happens. I don’t like shit. Shit sucks. The only thing I keep pondering is why so much? Why does this keep happening? Plus, if I were to add my religion to the mixture, she was Christian. Not somebody who went to church twice a year but a legit Christian. So that makes it even more confusing.
Ladies, take note. Guys do NOT like being left hanging under ANY circumstances. Not even a little. Quite honestly, I would much rather you say “Fuck off you creeper” then for you to not say anything for a week and leave me wondering what happened. That way, I know for fact that you don’t want to talk to me ever again. In my opinion, there’s no mistake in “Get the fuck away from me”. A message like that is loud and clear.
So yeah. I am, once again, in a funk over women. You’d think I’d either be a monk or gay by now with all the crap I’ve taken from women. I don’t hate them. I just hate the way I’ve been treated. In most of these situations, I would have forgiven them after all was said and done. Like this one.
Seriously, this needs to stop ASAP. Please.
Just had a great date with previously mentioned girl. I think I finally met someone who won’t end up messing with my mind. Plus this song is awesome.
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